Extravagant Love

Today I am still reflecting on yesterday and standing in awe at how God's love continues to amaze me! It shouldn't but in my feeble human mind it does! I mean I can constantly look back and know that He gave His One and Only Son for me, there is no greater love! Yet, it's during the day to day, ins and outs of life, the trial and testing times that my vision is scewed, doubts are raised in my heart, my focus is diverted from Him so easily. It seems so easy to get wrapped up in the things of this world and suddenly His love doesn't seem so amazing. Praise the Lord He is a jealous God and He never lets my blurred vision and feeble doubting heart keep me from seeing His amazing love.
He is so faithful and His love endures forever! His mercies and loving kindness are new every morning!
As I got ready for Church yesterday I knew it was going to be one of those knock down drag outs with the Lord. There is something about coming into His presence, in His church, in worship, and Him dealing with my heart face to face. He does that daily, but worship on Sundays can sometimes be a much needed TKO punch!.... so I wore waterproof mascara, I knew better than to attempt to hold it in on this Sunday.
I had gone all week after that victory and sunk right back into the beginning of my cycle. As one of my favorite songs says, "I felt numb from my heart down." I couldn't find any love, any feeling remotely close to that toward the Lord.
A lot had gone on the week before, including the Lord's blessing of bringing the much needed remaining 10% of my parents' support. They are at 100% which is a huge answer to prayer, but it was a bitter sweet answer as I so want them in the Lord's will and doing His kingdom work, and yet want them close by me too :( I'm a momma's and a daddy's girl! So things were piling up on me, and I had not brought my heart to the Lord to lay it bare before Him and let Him heal and work.
That Sunday morning, I can't remember much of what was said in Sunday school, but on the way to the Church service a dear friend came up and said her husband wasn't there, would I want to sit with her... this was the first of many ways that the LORD lavished His love on me this day. It was so encouraging, because with the thought of my parents leaving, there is an instilled deep fear that I have of being alone. No, they won't be gone forever, and I will still be able to communicate with them, but it will be a drastic change and it will be hard adjustment. So one of my big prayers has been that the Lord would raise us a support, family, friends, around me to help lighten the load a little.
The Lord answered that prayer in full yesterday!
After sitting and talking with my sweet friend, we began worshiping, and we sang some of the most beautiful songs, one being How Great Thou Art. I love that song, but it broke my heart that I couldn't find it in me to sing the words, I would have only been going through the motions, I forced myself to sing most of the words, because I knew it was a battle of my flesh, and I so wanted to to be humbled before the Lord and be whole heartedly in love with the LORD, my Creator, Savior, Redeemer and Friend.
When we got to the verse of... "And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing; Sent Him to die, I scarce can take it in; That on the Cross, my burden gladly bearing, He bled and died to take away my sin.".... the words struck deep. He is worth it all... look at what He gave for me! And the tears flowed. I cried so much that morning that my sweet friend gave me the only tissue she had, but it wasn't catching it all. And so the family next to me got me a whole handful of tissues for me. She put her arm around me as we read the Old Testament scripture that pierced deep.
At each point of the day the Lord was showing me just how much He loved me and how He was going to be my sufficiency and my All in All. He was answering my prayers and showering me with much needed love and encouragement.
The sermon was amazing!, and it was just what my heart needed to hear. The last point discussed how if we truly love the Lord and have a heart for His Gospel that we should expect suffering to come, even as Paul was writing the letter from prison. It put everything back into perspective for me.
After church and many many more tears I was confident that my mascara was not smudged :) but I couldn't get my chin to stop quivering!
The intern came down and shook my hand, and asked if I was ok, haha! after seeing a sobbing, bawling woman just in front of the pulpit. He expressed that he would be praying for me. God was meeting me at every turn!
Then I went to hug another friend and she asked if I had lunch plans and I just lost it. Through tears I said no, but I don't think I'll be very good company today. Her words were simple... "that's ok, I would love to listen." It was music to my ears. Another friend got my number, and another sweet girl invited me for lunch next Sunday. God was lavishing extravagantly!
I had a wonderful lunch and felt the Lord's love and grace flowing over my every move, my every breath was filled with the extravagant love from the LORD!
When I got home His lavishing continued. I actually had the desire to paint for once in a long long time. Somewhere along the road my painting became more like therapy, the way I get things out, the way I release emotions and thoughts to the Lord, and so with that I have stayed away from painting for a long time, I think because therapy can be so painful sometimes. But the LORD was at work and I painted four pictures that afternoon!
I sat out in the sun and soaked up the Lord's warmth and His rays of love all afternoon.
I have Gerber Daisies at the front of my house and they have been blooming non stop! Even in the cold, I know the Lord has been doing this for me! They are my favorite flower.
I walked out there to look at them and take some pictures of them and I promise one of my orange ones was in the shape of a heart. The petals had bloomed and formed in the shape of a heart. Well, I lost it again. :)
God was going to extreme and extravagant measures to show me how much He loves me and how He will care for my every need!
Later on that night I noticed a Liberty Baptist Church bus come down my cove. I thought that was unusual, but just figured they might be doing a neighborhood blitz for their reformation party like my church will do on Wednesday. So a lil 12 yr. old boy came and hung something on my front door. I didn't get up to see what it was until I went to close all my blinds.
I opened the door and got the ziplock bag off the handle thinking, hummm what kind of candy is this going to be?
It wasn't candy at all! It was the LORD's visible love for me again! It was a 9 volt battery! Now let me explain, cause yall are going what the mess!?! ha! My smoke detector in my room woke me up about a month and a half ago because the battery was about dead. So I took it out and the battery cover has been flung open and the dead battery on my dresser ever since. I haven't had the money or time to get another battery, they are expensive ya know.
So needless to say I was shocked speechless. There were two cards in the with the new battery. One said "Discover God's Love and Forgiveness" - I kid you not! And the other said "use this battery for your smoke detector!" I was shocked!
I start blubbering, blabbering and crying at the top of my lungs..... I LOVE YOU LORD, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!!!!! I KNOW, I BELIEVE, HELP MY UNBELIEF, OH GOD, I LOVE YOU! JESUS CHRIST HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL, I LOVE YOU!
About that time mom and dad called and said they wanted to come eat supper with me. Mom caught the tail end of the tears and they were there within 30 minutes. It was just what I needed to end my day.
My God is soooooooooo good!
He provides in ways that I could never ask, would ever believe or imagine!
His grace, mercy, forgiveness and love are severe and yet extravagant at the same time!
He will satisfy my every longing, need, and desire, even on my most numb days!
He will never let me go, never leave me, nor forsake me.
He remains faithful to His promises and will continue to love me all the way to glory!
Praise the LORD Jesus Christ on High that He cares, He loves, He is intimate with His children. He seeks me out and never once leaves me in my broken, distant unbelief!
He is the gracious and amazing Hound of Heaven!
Daily I can hear those steps pounding behind me, as my heart wanders...He steadily pursues me to capture my heart once again!
Praise God Almighty for His unfailing extravagant all-satisfying love!
What an amazing Savior!