Breaking The Chains

Today I was overwhelmed by God's goodness. After a wonderful Thanksgiving week holiday, the LORD topped it off with an amazing blessing. After spending the weekend with my parents I headed home to get ready for church. I got a call asking if I wanted to go hear my brother, Chad, preach. Of course, was my quick answer!

We headed up to Newton Pres. and on the way I couldn't help but think of how good God has been to our family. It was such am amazing blessing to worship under the leadership of my very own brother. He is a gifted preacher, filled with the Holy Spirit, and bold in proclaiming the Gospel of our LORD Jesus Christ. It was an amazing sermon from John 15, and it pierced my heart as the Holy Spirit convicted me through his wonderful teaching. 

As church ended there were so many people who came up to us, singing Chad's praises. One, in particular, asked my dad if Chad got his gift of preaching from my daddy. My dad could only humbly give the credit back to the LORD! He truly has a gift, but it's not of him, as he preached. There is nothing that my brother has to offer, but Christ in him and Him crucified!

It is an amazing blessing to see how Christ has broken the chains of unbelief in our family. My brother and I are the second generation of believers in the Scott family. And what a blessing to share that tie that binds us together, Jesus Christ our LORD! 

And even now, we are enjoying the third generation, Wyatt and Raney, believing that God will call them unto Himself in His timing. The chains have forever been broken, praise His Name, hallelujah! God is so good, and so faithful to His children!

As the passage in John said so clearly: "you didn't choose me, I chose you..."; there is nothing special about our family, nothing good or great that we have done to merit salvation and break the chains of sin and death, there is nothing about us that is holy and righteous, there is nothing good or upright that we have done to bring all of this about. It is only God and His goodness and mercy that saw fit to call my parents unto Himself, and then my brother and I, and my wonderful sister too! It is only by God's grace that the sins from generation to generation have been broken! It is only by God's grace that we now have a family deeply rooted in the LORD and His Word. It is only by God's grace that Chad is an ordained Reverend and preaches the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is only by God's grace that Kelly lives out the Gospel and teaches Wyatt and Raney of our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ. It is only by God's grace that Momma and Daddy will return to the Philippines to serve in advancing His Kingdom. It is only by God's grace that we now belong to another family, the family of God, saved, redeemed and adopted through the precious blood of our Brother and Co-Heir Jesus Himself!

Praise God for the sacrificial blood that breaks the chains of sin and death! Praise God for His goodness and mercy that chose to shower grace and love upon us, His children, the Scott family! 

Thank you LORD for the wonderful gift of Your Word through my brother! 

Thanksgiving

Well of course as it is Thanksgiving, now is the time to give thanks... not thanks to just anyone, but thanks to our Father in Heaven who gives us ALL good gifts!

I am thankful for...

~My salvation & the promise that the LORD will carry me to completion! Phil. 1:6

~God's love and sacrifice of His Son on the cross for me!

~God's faithfulness, as you all know, His faithfulness is what keeps me with Him.

~the blessing of a God fearing family... this means a lot to me as the most of my extended family are not believers.

~a Church home where the LORD continues to provide for me and bless me through His Gospel and grace.

~a place to call home, as so many don't have homes, or even roofs over their heads.

~friends and adopted family that God has provided.

~the abundance of blessings that God has given me.

~my job! I love my work, my boss, and his family.

~my momma and diddy who have loved me with the love of God through the years, and have stuck by me through some hellish times in my life.

~my brother and sis-n-law (really more a sister than in law!!) who have cared for me through many hard times, and who are always there for me no matter what.

~my precious neice and nephew, who bring joy to my heart, a smile to my face, and are nothing short of lil miracle blessings from the LORD on high.

~opportunities for ministry that God has opened for me.

~wisdom and discernment to live life day to day before the face of God.

~spiritual eyes to see and live for my God's reality, not falling asleep in this world that lulls so many with it's dazzling comforts.

~my experience in the Philippines that has brought me deep life long friends, and a new gratefulness for life.

~the trials that the LORD walks with me through, burning me, in order to skim off the dross. It sucks at times, but I am thankful!

~the freedom, that we take for granted, to worship our God freely.

~the love that God has given me for Him...and therefore the ability to love others, that I could not muster on my own, but was given this by His grace and through Him first loving me!

~My amazing, holy, wonderful, redeeming, patient, loving, gracious, forgiving, faithful and merciful God.... who created me, has saved me, loves me, is sanctifying me, and who will remain with me...He who is the same yesterday, today and forever!

Hallelujah what a Savior!!!!!

Hallelujah what a Friend!!!!!

Thank you God!

Great Is Thy Faithfulness...

I know I write a lot about God's faithfulness, but that is the attribute of His that stands out to me most these days, well really all the time; in the light of my unfaithfulness, His faithfulness means so much to me!
Over the years He has been nothing but faithful to me, even when my heart turns from him, even when I stray, when I rebel, when I wander like a sheep going my own way. He remains faithful, and always will until the day I die. Praise His Holy and Loving Name!
Today, I look back and I can see that God has been faithful to His children for thousands of generations. Not one of His, even His famous, children in the Bible remained faithful to the LORD.
"We all like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all." - Isaiah 53:6
I have been comforted that I am not the only one in this world that struggles with a rebellious heart, it just looks different for others. We are each created in uniqueness, in the image of God, and we each rebel against the holy and perfect will of God in different ways.
Some question God's goodness and wisdom - like Adam and Eve
Some doubt & fear; taking things into their own hands from a lack of trust in God's will - like Abraham
Some wrestle with God openly - like Jacob
Some deceive and try to work their own will - like Rebekah and Joseph's brothers
Some doubt God's will and fear - like Moses
Some go after their will/fleshly desires - like David
Some just plain doubt - like Thomas
Some disown the LORD for a time - like Peter, and the rest of the disciples as they fled.
For me, it's a mixture of a lot of the saints that have gone before us.
This is tremendous relief for me, because for the longest time I thought I was the only Christian with this rebellious heart that did not seek after God at times in my life. This does not give me license to continue in my rebellion of course, but it does bring much comfort that I am normal, I am a normal rebellious sheep of the LORD!
That is why I am so thankful for the LORD's faithfulness, because I know my heart, I know my sin, I know my rebellion, but He knows it even deeper. He sees into the depths of my heart that I am blinded to, and yet He loves me still. He continues to work in me still.
As I look back from the other side of a wrestling match with God, He has shown me so much truth about Himself.
1. My anger against Him and His "seemingly hard" will is invalid and sin actually, because He is a holy, perfect, and righteous God that works only the good for His children... Just because it doesn't fit into my "plan of goodness"; that does not mean it's not His holy good.
2. God will withhold anything that will effect my relationship with Him... This was amazing to hear, and made things seem much more palitable. His desire is to transform me into the image of His Son, and in order to do that, sometimes things must get hard, uncomfortable, and difficult; with Him often stripping from me idols that I love in order to push me to dependence on Him and growth through Him.
3. He did not only come to rescue me, but to redeem me to the Father as well... this means that I will not always understand His plan and will. And I don't need to try and "make meaning" out of what He is doing. I don't have to ask why all the time, because He has a good and perfect will which He works in and through me for His glory and for my redemption... therefore, Lindsey, stubborn, lump of rebellious clay, trust Him!!!
4. Beholding Christ is the way we are changed... so He will remove anything that keeps me from beholding Christ in His fullness, glory, majesty, and His all sufficiency which has the power to satisfy every need, longing, and desire of my heart.
5. God is love..."but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us..." - Romans 5:8... God loves me, He loves me so much that He absorbed His own wrath for my sin, so that I could enjoy Him and His presence for the rest of eternity; and dare I say, that He could in return enjoy me, rebelliousness and all! He has loved me from the beginning of time, before I was even created. He had love in His heart for me before I even knew His Name, before I even desired Him. While I was "in my rebellion" he sent His Son to pay the price of my salvation and reconciliation to Him. He knows the rebellion of my heart, and He knows my feeble attempts to love Him in return, and He remains faithful.
He will continue to walk with me, and He promises to carry me to completion on the day of Christ Jesus. And because He is a faithful, covenantal God, He is not able to go back on His word, or His character. Therefore I can trust that He ALWAYS has my best interest in mind, He ALWAYS has my good at heart, no matter how difficult it may look from this side of heaven, He ALWAYS is working to make me more and more into the image of His Son, for His glory and by His grace!
So on this side, the broken, humble, dependent side of my rebellion, I lie waiting on the Potter's wheel, motionless and still, a lump of clay, awaiting his washing, cut, pounding, spinning, etc... awaiting His touch.
Oh that God would give me the surrendering heart of Mary and Jesus, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." Jesus himself came not to accomplish His own will, but only to do the will of His Father.
LORD God please give me the heart of a humble, still, surrendering servant, with only the desire to attend to Your will; as a bond servant, bought with Your precious blood, please take away my stubborn and rebellious will until there is only Yours that I desire to fulfill.

Thanks For The New Look

I have to give a special thank you to Annie Gundy for beautifying her blog, and giving me the idea and place to go to get a cute background too!

You're the best Annie!

If anyone wants to make the blog beautiful.... just click on the site in the upper left corner of my blog. It's "The Cutest Blog On The Block".

Check it out!

Thanks

More Than Life

I know, I know... this is the last one for today... well the last song at least :)

I have my iPOD on shuffle and the next song that came up after the last one I posted is one of my all time favorites. I think I have posted it before, but I can't help but share it again. It's just sooo good! If you haven't heard this song, google it, it's worth your time :)

"Stand by everything You've said, stand by the promises we made.

Let go of everything I've done, I'll run into Your open arms. 

And all I know... is I love You more than life!

Oh, I love You more than life!

Fall back on everything You've done, fall back on Everlasting Arms. 

Let the world slip away, You are all the things I need. 

You're the air I breathe... oh, I love You more than life!

Oh, I love You more than life. More than anything, LORD, more than anything!

Oh, I love You more than life. 

Oh, I love You more than life. 

You've been so good, You've been so good. 

Said You would never leave, You told me You would never leave, 

and I love You, Oh Jesus, You're so faithful, so faithful. 

I love You, oh yes I do, Oh Jesus, I love You so much. 

Makes a grown man wanna cry.

How can it be that You were upon the cross, died for me?

Lifted for all my sin...

How can it be the scars in Your hands were for me? 

I love You so, You are the King of all!

Oh, I love You more than life. 

I love You more than life. 

You're so faithful, never find another like You. 

I love You more than life. 

I love You more than life.

Praise Your Name, I'll praise Your Name!"

- Hillsong

For All You've Done

Break Me Through

As I was cleaning my house today and listening to my iPOD, I heard this song, and the words ring true. Just wanted to share! Life truly is all about Him, no matter what you are doing, no matter where you are... it's all about Him and Him alone. 

"Trust in the LORD with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding, in all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." - I don't know where it comes from at the moment, but it is His breathed Word. :)

"Today I woke up early, today I woke up sad,

it's funny how it hurts me, the love I've never had. 

But I can feel You, breaking me through this man.

I can feel you, through this loneliness.

You show me that... life shines with You.

You show me that... life shines with You, 

so break me through!

I think that I can hear it, is it a trumpet or a train?

And now I'm drawing near it, and it's calling out my name.

I got nothing to lose, I got nothing to prove in this man.

There's nothing to lose, but all this emptiness.

So show me that... life shines with You.

Show me that... life shines with You.

So break me through.

And if I had a ladder, to reach up to the sky.

I would climb up there forever, it would just be You and I.

And I would feel you, breaking me through this man. 

And I would feel You, through this lonely man. 

And You show me that... life shines with You.

And You show me that... life shines with You. 

So break me through. 

Break me through.

Break me through."

- Bebo Norman

Praying Scripture

I just wanted to share this simple, but whoa sooo loaded, prayer that has meant so much to me. The LORD continues to reveal His truth to me from His Word, and here lately He has shown me how to pray back His word to Him. The LORD has brought this prayer to my mind often to use as a way to love others. He is so good to cross my path with others who need to be lifted up to His throne, before the LORD Almighty who reigns from heaven above.

And a very wise woman once told me that the absolute most we can do for others is to pray for them...

I pray in Jesus Holy Name, "that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." - Colossians 1:9-10
Amen.

Longing for Eden

Most days fly by in a blink of an eye, and time goes right along with it...I have tons I want to do, tons I need to get done, work that needs to be finished, newspaper letters that need to be written, yuk! ha, people I want to hang out with, family that I miss, ministry that I want to invest in, and then, oh yeh............... time with the Lord.

God has been driving into me this week the need for me to slow down before Him, to make time to be with Him, to be still in His presence, to feel with Him, to walk with Him through life, instead of just giving Him my scraps and leftovers of my days, and coming to Him at the end of the day feeling guilty for not meeting Him and acknowledging Him along the way.

It has been a challenge, and it is only the grace of God that gives me the desire from day to day. Today is one of those typical busy days... as so many things clamor for my attention and my time, I sat a moment ago longing for the day when I will be with my Creator, Savior, Redeemer...with no distractions, no list of to-dos, no pressing needs, no time crunch, but only to sit at His feet and do His bidding and His will. I can only dream... There will be no interruptions that come from my annoying mind, no rebellious spirit that rises up within me, no ugly thoughts to push back, no fighting against His will, no other god that I set up to lure me away from Him, no other comfort to entice my soul, nothing will stand in the way... All of that will be finally defeated and I will stand before my God naked, bare, exposed, open, KNOWN and unashamed as Adam and Eve once did in the Garden of Eden.

I went back to Genesis and began to read... I was wanting just to read of the unhindered closeness, the unmolested, unbroken, continuous intimate relationship that Adam and Eve had with God. I wanted just to feel, even for a brief moment, how amazing and comforting it must have felt to walk with God in the cool of the day; To be in His presence and actually hear, feel, and see His love, His touch, the intimacy of the relationship with Him.

This is something that pains my heart daily. Something that I long for, and have longed for all of my life. I have spent the better part of my life seeking this intimacy that Adam and Eve had with God from places that could never offer such depth of love. As I read of how they shared unbroken communion and fellowship with God, my heart ached: I want that! I so want that intimacy with the Lord, that fulfills every desire, every need, every longing, every burden, every care, every pleasure, every-everything. I know that in Christ I can have that, it is mine this side of heaven because of the life and death that Jesus gave for me. Yet it still leaves me longing, not that He is not enough, but because it is only a shadow of what is to come. This side of heaven my sin will continue to hinder that intimacy with God, because I will continue, as my 1st parents did, to hide and to blame my sin, to run from God because I know my evil, to rebel against the God I love because of my flesh and my insatiable desire (curse) to be separate, to be my own lil deity. In the light of the present it can be kind of hopelessly crushing at times!

My heart ached as I read, jealous, envious, sad, and heart broken that I can't share in that same pure intimacy that they once had. I read of the Fall and was reminded again of the reason I struggle with this so much. And then the Lord brought me to His unforseen grace... at the end of Genesis 3. I have read it before, but each time we read God's Word, His Spirit speaks and enlightens in different ways... as I read toward the end of Chapter 3, my heart was amazed, comforted, and given hope once again in the unforseen grace of God.

"The the LORD God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever-" therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

What amazing grace! I'm sure back then, Adam and Eve could not imagine what brought about such drastic and severe "punishment" for the 1st sin that had been committed. I'm sure back then they couldn't see God's goodness, His mercy, kindness, love, grace, and faithfulness in His actions, in their being banished from the Garden.

Oh but how amazing His grace is!... He kept Adam and Eve from reaching out their hand, eating, and living forever in the sinful state that they were now in. WHAT AMAZING GRACE! God saw the awful sin that had now entered His world, and He did everything necessary to guard against His children living this way for eternity. He made it impossible for them to live forever, thus allowing death; which at the moment, in the present seems horrible, how could He? Imagine Adam and Eve's anguish... oh, but God has given me the amazing blessing of being able to read His Word, His-story in context, to see that it was grace that He was showing, because after death I will once again be united to Him in pure unbroken, unmolested intimacy! If He had not acted in His severe mercy I could forever be stuck in this state! Ugh! That would be terrible! But now, because of His abounding love and severe grace, I will die! Praise God I will die one day, and then I will stand before my God, naked, bare, exposed, new, clean, KNOWN, His, completely dead to sin, and forever alive in Christ! Hallelujah what a Savior, Hallelujah what a sovereign redeeming God!

Praise God that He has made a way, through death, through His Son, through Him conquering death on the cross, taking my penalty, so that when I die, I will immediately meet my Savior in paradise!

My heart can only sing songs of praise and adoration, because He will not leave me in this sinful state, He will not leave my heart longing; He has made a way and will carry me to completion, until the Day of the LORD, where I will once again share in unbroken intimacy with my Creator, Savior, Redeemer, my God!

Hallelujah, what an amazing God!

In Rest

I've heard you in the thunder,
I've felt you in the rain,
I've met you in the turmoil,
I've found you in the pain,
but here in the stillness, when this moment all is well,
here I'm prone to wander, here my rebel tale.

Cure my heart of chasing whirlwinds,
of needing earth to quake,
of wrestling made up angels to keep myself awake.

There's passion in the stillness,
there's fire in the cloud,
there's rest that brings a man to life,
there's a voice that whispers loud.

Oh bid my restless wandering heart to find it's pulse in You...
In stillness know that you are God,
in rest you make me new.

-Travis Cottrell

Severe Mercy of a Faithful God

Do you ever feel like God is trying to get your attention?
Do you ever feel like He is trying to make Himself your everything, your only dependence?
Do you ever feel like the hard things that come in life, He has filtered through His fingers for a purpose?

I think this has been an ongoing lesson in my life with the Lord. I have determined that I am one of His SPED children (Special Education). The Lord seems to have to go to great lengths, drastic measures, severeness even at times to get my attention. I guess some of that is due to my thick headedness, and then I know some of it is simply because of my flesh and sinful, wicked heart.

I know other people struggle with the same things in the Christian life, but it just seems to be ever present in mine. And I can actually look back and see how God has been that "hound of heaven" continually pursuing me in this. I mean how many times does the Lord have to teach me the same lesson over and over again before I finally get it, before my Spirit finally bows before Him in humility, before I release my clutch on whatever it is that's in His place and come to Him empty and broken?

If you are an idol making factory like me it doesn't take long at all, after a lesson is learned, to "stray and wander, and go my own way" from the Lord. It's very frustrating at times to get it, and then lose it, or even throw it out the window, and then have to be taught all over again.

This time the Lord seems to be going to extreme lengths, which I call His severe and extreme grace. Some people ask why is this life so hard? Why is there so much pain? I honestly believe that the Lord is constantly using all of these things for His good. Notice I said His good for me, not what I think is good. Because I am convinced that if He worked for what I thought was good, then I would seriously have it good if you know what I mean. Pie in the sky, a tiptoe through the tulips life, a walk in the park. And that is not what brings about my complete and total dependence on Him. That is not what helps to transform me more into His image. If I have it easy then I am most likely not to depend on Him at all. When life gets comfortable and the war seems to die for a nanosecond I let down my guard, I relax, I don't guard my heart for the Lord, I rely on others, I focus on how good this world is and completely forget Who I am living for and what reality it is that I focus on, and Who it is that is keeping me alive. My sinfulness begins to think, aight God, I got this... I think I can handle this week, day, or second on my own. HA! Don't you know He just cringes when I hit that state, and yet shakes His head in deep sorrowful love, because He knows me and my heart, and knows that we are going to have to go through another round of training yet again.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes there are small victories of obedience, of living for the Lord from day to day. There are pleasures and unspeakable joys that He brings. He is at work constantly and promises to carry me on to completion. Praise His Name for His faithfulness and enduring unrelentless grace! There are also times when my flesh and will are so strong, rebellious, hardened, tough, that I try to live on my own and don't come to Him in humility daily to live for Him, in His grace.

I am so thankful today that God is faithful to me. I am so thankful that when I don't desire God, when I don't desire the lessons that He wants to teach me, that He is not going to leave me in my sinful state. Praise God that He has loved me from the beginning of time. Praise God that He loved me first, before I even thought of Him... He chose me, He holds me and not the other way around. Praise God that from the beginning He intimately knew my heart, how I would rebel against Him, mock Him, sin against Him daily, and yet inspite of all of that, He chose to love me still. I can so clearly see today and am ashamed to say that if it were left up to me, if it were my choice; then in my sinfulness, pain, fear, and weak heartedness....I would walk away because of how hard this walk with Christ is at times. The hard severe and extreme lessons in grace and dependence are not fun at points, they hurt, there are times when it would seem easier just to throw in the towel and give in to my flesh, and live like most of the world in ease and prosperity. These kinds of days are the days that I am more thankful than ever for my Savior! I am so thankful that even though I fight against the lessons He wants me to learn, He still continues to teach. In His severe mercy He holds me firm, turns up the heat on the fire, melting idols, seering emotions deep, burning out impurities, purifying me, skimming the dross off, breaking down strongholds, and walking through the fire with me.

What more could I ask for!?! I have been given a gift that is worth far more than an easy life. A precious gift that outweighs the present moment's struggles. I have been saved and know my Savior! I have been bought with a price...the precious blood of Christ! For what? Not to go my own way and live an easy life, but to imitate Christ, to live for Him, to give my life back to Him as an offering in obedience to His will.

Yes, life WILL get extremely hard at times, and the Lord WILL ask me to walk through difficult things, He WILL require drastic obedience of me...
But through it all He is there, He will never leave nor forsake me, He walks with me and upholds me with His righteous right hand. He will never ask anything of me that He will not give me the strength to accomplish or endure. He will also never demand anything from me that He has not already walked through Himself.
Praise God for His day to day faithfulness that began before time and will continue into eternity! He holds me in the palm of His hand and nothing, not hard situations, not emotions, not my rebelliousness, not the schemes of Satan, nothing will snatch me from His hand... NOTHING!

Praise God for His faithfulness, for His abounding love that will endure forever, for His patience and slowness to anger, and for His severe mercy that draws me (sometimes kicking and screaming) to His side!

Praise His Holy, Faithful and Almighty Name! The Name above every Name, Jesus, Abba... God!

Psalm 139 Song

"Search me, know me, try me and see
any worthless affection hidden in me.

All I'm asking for, is that you cleanse me LORD.

Creat in me a heart that's clean,
conquer the power of secret shame,
come wash away the guilty stains
of all my sins, of all my sins.

Clothe me in robes of righteousness,
cover my nakedness with grace,
all of my life before you now,
I humbly bring."

-Travis Cotrell

Blood Trailing on a God Hunt

As I was driving to work today I was thinking about a growth group conversation not too long ago on Colossians 4:2 - "Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving." We discussed what we each thought it meant to be watchful in prayer. And one mother told us of "God hunts" she used to go on with her children when they were younger. In these "God hunts" she taught them the importance of watching for God through out their days, looking for ways that He was speaking to them. Being still and looking, watching, being on the hunt for how God was going to show His love to them each day.
What a brilliant idea!!!!
I really liked this idea, not only for me, but hopefully I will do this with my children one day! But for now, I have been putting it to use. So on my drive up Highway 25 this morning I was noticing the beautiful fall leaves that are changing colors outside. Now here in Mississippi the colors don't get brilliantly bright like up north, but they are bright enough to bring a sense of awe and wonder at the Creator and His creativity in His gorgeous creation!
I was looking at the different colors, and every now and then I would catch a glimpse of the brightest red leaves I have ever seen! They were just speckled in and out of the orange and yellow and the many that are still green. But about every 50 yards or so there would be a gorgeous clump of red that made me gasp.
As I looked at those clumps of red my eyes caught a glimpse of something. Me being (the a-typical girl) a hunter and an artist... my two thought patterns converged and made for a great God hunt!
Now if any of you have ever been deer hunting, you know that sometimes the deer doesn't just drop dead after you shoot it. Sometimes their adrenaline pumps and they can run a good ways (not too too far if you're a good shot!) :) If they do run like this after being shot, then you have to blood trail them. Especially if you shoot the deer at dusk, then you have to slowly move from one spot of blood to the next trying to follow the signs to your trophy buck! (Ok, ok so maybe it's a doe, either way it's meat in the freezer!) Sometimes it might be a tiny spot of blood under a leaf and so you search, watching carefully.
All of these clumps of red leaves on Highway 25 captivated my attention and my imagination saw a big, huge blood trail! I drove and my eyes moved from clump to clump of red, some were small and some were big bunches of bold red color. My mind then asked... what am I trailing?!
Then it hit me! I was hunting for God! Now this may seem a little far fetched to you, but hang in there with me, because God reveals Himself to us in many ways... creation is one way that every man on earth can know God. It's His "natural revelation" to us. It leaves man without excuse for not knowing Him.
So as my eyes followed from one "blood red" clump of leaves to the next I couldn't help but think of my Savior! My mind immediately followed the blood trail of gorgeous red leaves right to the foot of the cross where Jesus in all of His love gave up His life for me, shedding His precious blood to rescue me from the dominion of darkness! What else could this blood trail lead to? After all He was there in the beginning, He was there to design and create all the leaves, the colors they would turn; He was there on that cross, spilling His precious blood that flowed from His hands, feet, head and side, He's there every season painting the leaves, deciding which colors will go where, He is intimately involved in His creation and the lives of His children!
And He, the LORD of all creation is there loving me, leading me, wooing me daily. He is the one that swiped His blood stained hands over those leaves... that set that trail out for me, leading my heart and mind back to Him. He is the Lover, my Savior that finds creative ways to draw me back to Him in complete dependence daily.
Praise the LORD for the blood trail that led me back to the foot of the Cross again where I am always humbled and in need of His saving grace!

The Hound of Heaven

This has been one of my favorite poems, ever since that Living in Grace conference in January 2004. I fled the LORD for 24 years, and yet He followed me, pursued me, and sought me out to save me! Praise God for His severe mercy!

"I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmed fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat--and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet--
"All things betray thee, who betrayest Me."

I pleaded, outlaw-wise,
By many a hearted casement, curtained red,
Trellised with intertwining charities
(For, though I knew His love Who followed,
Yet was I sore adread
Lest having Him, I must have naught beside);
But if one little casement parted wide,
The gust of His approach would clash it to.
Fear wist not to evade, as Love wist to pursue.
Across the margent of the world I fled,
And troubled the gold gateways of the stars,
Smiting for shelter on their clanged bars;
Fretted to dulcet jars
And silvern chatter the pale ports o' the moon.
I said to dawn, Be sudden; to eve, Be soon;
With thy young skyey blossoms heap me over
From this tremendous Lover!
Float thy vague veil about me, lest He see!
I tempted all His servitors, but to find
My own betrayal in their constancy,
In faith to Him their fickleness to me,
Their traitorous trueness, and their loyal deceit.
To all swift things for swiftness did I sue;
Clung to the whistling mane of every wind.
But whether they swept, smoothly fleet,
The long savannahs of the blue;
Or whether, Thunder-driven,
They clanged his chariot 'thwart a heaven
Plashy with flying lightnings round the spurn o' their feet--
Still with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
Came on the following Feet,
And a Voice above their beat--
"Naught shelters thee, who wilt not shelter Me."

I sought no more that after which I strayed
In face of man or maid;
But still within the little children's eyes
Seems something, something that replies;
They at least are for me, surely for me!
I turned me to them very wistfully;
But, just as their young eyes grew sudden fair
With dawning answers there,
Their angel plucked them from me by the hair.
"Come then, ye other children, Nature's--share
With me," said I, "your delicate fellowship;
Let me greet you lip to lip,
Let me twine with you caresses,
Wantoning
With our Lady-Mother's vagrant tresses'
Banqueting
With her in her wind-walled palace,
Underneath her azured daïs,
Quaffing, as your taintless way is,
From a chalice
Lucent-weeping out of the dayspring."
So it was done;
I in their delicate fellowship was one--
Drew the bolt of Nature's secrecies.
I knew all the swift importings
On the wilful face of skies;
I knew how the clouds arise
Spumèd of the wild sea-snortings;
All that's born or dies
Rose and drooped with--made them shapers
Of mine own moods, or wailful or divine--
With them joyed and was bereaven.
I was heavy with the even,
When she lit her glimmering tapers
Round the day's dead sanctities.
I laughed in the morning's eyes.
I triumphed and I saddened with all weather,
Heaven and I wept together,
And its sweet tears were salt with mortal mine;
Against the red throb of its sunset-heart
I laid my own to beat,
And share commingling heat;
But not by that, by that, was eased my human smart.
In vain my tears were wet on Heaven's gray cheek.
For ah! we know not what each other says,
These things and I; in sound I speak--
Their sound is but their stir, they speak by silences.
Nature, poor stepdame, cannot slake my drouth;
Let her, if she would owe me,
Drop yon blue bosom-veil of sky, and show me
The breasts of her tenderness;
Never did any milk of hers once bless
My thirsting mouth.
Nigh and nigh draws the chase,
With unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy;
And past those noisèd Feet
A voice comes yet more fleet--
"Lo naught contents thee, who content'st not Me."

Naked I wait Thy love's uplifted stroke!
My harness piece by piece Thou hast hewn from me,
And smitten me to my knee;
I am defenseless utterly.
I slept, methinks, and woke,
And, slowly gazing, find me stripped in sleep.
In the rash lustihead of my young powers,
I shook the pillaring hours
And pulled my life upon me; grimed with smears,
I stand amid the dust o' the mounded years--
My mangled youth lies dead beneath the heap.
My days have crackled and gone up in smoke,
Have puffed and burst as sun-starts on a stream.
Yea, faileth now even dream
The dreamer, and the lute the lutanist;
Even the linked fantasies, in whose blossomy twist
I swung the earth a trinket at my wrist,
Are yielding; cords of all too weak account
For earth with heavy griefs so overplussed.
Ah! is Thy love indeed
A weed, albeit amaranthine weed,
Suffering no flowers except its own to mount?
Ah! must--
Designer infinite!--
Ah! must Thou char the wood ere Thou canst limn with it?
My freshness spent its wavering shower i' the dust;
And now my heart is a broken fount,
Wherein tear-drippings stagnate, spilt down ever
From the dank thoughts that shiver
Upon the sighful branches of my mind.
Such is; what is to be?
The pulp so bitter, how shall taste the rind?
I dimly guess what Time in mist confounds;
Yet ever and anon a trumpet sounds
From the hid battlements of Eternity;
Those shaken mists a space unsettle, then
But not ere him who summoneth
I first have seen, enwound
With blooming robes, purpureal, cypress-crowned;
His name I know, and what his trumpet saith.
Whether man's heart or life it be which yields
Thee harvest, must Thy harvest fields
Be dunged with rotten death?

Now of that long pursuit
Comes on at hand the bruit;
That Voice is round me like a bursting sea:
"And is thy earth so marred,
Shattered in shard on shard?
Lo, all things fly thee, for thou fliest Me!
Strange, piteous, futile thing,
Wherefore should any set thee love apart?
Seeing none but I makes much of naught," He said,
"And human love needs human meriting,
How hast thou merited--
Of all man's clotted clay rhe dingiest clot?
Alack, thou knowest not
How little worthy of any love thou art!
Whom wilt thou find to love ignoble thee
Save Me, save only Me?
All which I took from thee I did but take,
Not for thy harms.
But just that thou might'st seek it in my arms.
All which thy child's mistake
Fancies as lost, I have stored for the at home;
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!"
Halts by me that footfall;
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
"Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

- Francis Thompson (1859-1907)

How Deep the Father's Love for Us

God is a God of intimate details as yesterday was a much needed communion Sunday... we sang one of my favorite songs as the Communion Hymn...

How deep the Father's love for us,
how vast beyond all measure,
that He should give His only Son,
to make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss,
the Father turns His face away,
as wounds which mar the Chosen One,
bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
my sin upon His shoulders,
ashamed, I hear my mocking voice,
call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there,
until it was accomplished,
His dying breath has brought me life,
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,
no gifts, no power, no wisdom,
but I will boast in Jesus Christ,
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer,
but this I know with all my heart,
His wounds have paid my ransom.

Renewing Communion

The LORD is so good to bring me just what I need, right when I need it most! He knows my heart far better than I ever will, and he loves me inspite of my wickedness, doubts, fears, disobedience, sins, etc, etc, etc.... this list could go on for days!

"O, God, stamp eternity on my eyeballs!" - Jonathan Edwards

He has done just that this weekend. I am so easily distracted, overwhelmed by life, and prone to wander from the LORD that I love. More often than I would like to admit the Lord has to use His sometimes severe mercy, and sometimes more gentle mercy to bring me back to to a true, humble, and loving dependence on Him. Praise God He does this! Praise God He holds me with His righteous right hand, because left up to me and my sinful heart, my vision blurs, I lose focus, I wander, no... stray, no... bolt and run the other way from Him, the Lover of my soul.
Sometimes life comes at me so fast that it is overwhelming. It feels like the storm-tossed sea that rolls and swells, sweeps and breaks over me as I struggle just to stay afloat.
It is amazing that how in those storms of my life, and in the calm as well, the Lord has always been there with me. He has always been there to protect me through each stage of life. It has not always been so clear and easy for me to see that. In fact at some points I was not looking for Him, I was not seeking Him for refuge, I know a lot of times I didn't seek Him as my strength, stability, Rock, and Shepherd, but this time He has given me grace and a desire to seek His face.
On Saturday He reminded me He loved me and that He was there. Sometimes it's not so easy to see that clearly. Sometimes everything in this world, everything that surrounds me, the sea that tosses in the storm of life, clouds my vision, and overwhelms, and I can't even FEEL that God is there, or that He is at work... oh but He is!
He simply showed me this by three things: the sunlight, the love of my mom and dad, and the beauty of His creation, and His WORD made flesh. We worked in my yard all day long on Saturday. It was a gorgeous day, not a cloud in the sky... and Jesus, "the Light of the world" (Jn. 8:12), was shining new light, life, and truth into my bones under that sun. He is the one that gives us light, and in order for us to grow we must live/walk in His light. It's an amazing feeling to turn your face toward the sun and soak in the Lord's light. So through out the day as I was just sometimes standing in the sun, my sweet daddy was digging, working, digging and digging more! They are so good to me! They have put my interest and my needs before their own many times, and loved me with a godly love. My dad worked himself silly digging new flower beds, and a fire pit in my back yard. And my momma was right there with him, digging, planting flowers, and playing in the dirt. :) God reminded me of His presence through their love. He also reminded me of His presence just through the beauty of His creation... the pansies, their beautiful colors and the fact that God himself takes the time to clothe the flowers of the field. "But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?" (Matt. 6:30)
It was on Sunday that He renewed my desire again, fed me, brought me back to the beginning, and made my path straight with Him as my focus. It was communion Sunday and it always seems to come just at a time such as this, where I either need breaking of my sin, need strengthening, or just need to remember and feed on the body of Christ that He gave for me. Usually it's a combination of all of the above!
The sermon was from 1 Jn. 1:1-4... and it was an amazing message taking me all the way back to the beginning, all the way back to the fact, the TRUTH, that regardless of my feelings "...the Lord Jesus Christ himself, the only begotten Son of God, begotten of His Father before all worlds; God of God, Light of Light, very God of very God, begotten, not made; Who, for me and for my salvation came down from heaven, and was incarnate by the Holy Spirit of the virgin Mary, and was made man; and was crucified also for me under Pontius Pilate; He suffered and was buried; and the third day He rose again according to the Scriptures, and ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father..." (The Nicene Creed).... this is Jesus!!! who set aside His deity, taking on flesh for the purpose of saving me to glorify Himself! Amazing Grace!
I had felt earlier in the week, and might have even blogged it: "ya know I can always look back and see Jesus' sacrifice for me and know that He loves me, but it's in the day to day thick of it when I can't feel it sometimes."
Well this sermon and communion on Sunday blasted that lil feeling to smitherines! ha!
HE IS LIFE! Regardless of how I may feel, He is the reason why I live. He is the God that came to this earth to save me. He is God above every god that the prophets saw, touched, heard, walked with and have proclaimed to us in His Word. He is the one that we fellowship with daily. He is the One that has come, lived a perfect life, died my death, and rose again from the dead, defeating my sin, Satan and my death, so that I can rise and live with Him in eternity. He is the God that has made it to where I will never know a day without Him. He has given me the gift of His grace and mercy that I will never be without; even in my most rebellious times, God lavished His grace on me! Even on my hardest, darkest, unfeeling days, He is still God and has still loved me enough to die for me! Feeling or no feeling, this is TRUTH!
He is worth it all! He is worth every single ounce of my life, every minute of my day, every second of my thoughts!
O that God would continue to stamp eternity on my eyeballs! So that it is not this life that I live for, but the next. There is no ruler, power, authority, tradition, spirit, or being that I live for on this earth other than the Lord Jesus Christ!
HE IS EVERYTHING! And when He takes me by the chin and turns my head, face, and eyes to look full in Him, everything really does grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace!
Oh God firmly hold my chin, hold my gaze fast on You and none other!
Let everything else fall away so that ALL I see is You, Your love, Your death, Your grace, Your cross, Your will, Your light, and Your life!
Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on my soul! Hold my gaze!