Most days fly by in a blink of an eye, and time goes right along with it...I have tons I want to do, tons I need to get done, work that needs to be finished, newspaper letters that need to be written, yuk! ha, people I want to hang out with, family that I miss, ministry that I want to invest in, and then, oh yeh............... time with the Lord.
God has been driving into me this week the need for me to slow down before Him, to make time to be with Him, to be still in His presence, to feel with Him, to walk with Him through life, instead of just giving Him my scraps and leftovers of my days, and coming to Him at the end of the day feeling guilty for not meeting Him and acknowledging Him along the way.
It has been a challenge, and it is only the grace of God that gives me the desire from day to day. Today is one of those typical busy days... as so many things clamor for my attention and my time, I sat a moment ago longing for the day when I will be with my Creator, Savior, Redeemer...with no distractions, no list of to-dos, no pressing needs, no time crunch, but only to sit at His feet and do His bidding and His will. I can only dream... There will be no interruptions that come from my annoying mind, no rebellious spirit that rises up within me, no ugly thoughts to push back, no fighting against His will, no other god that I set up to lure me away from Him, no other comfort to entice my soul, nothing will stand in the way... All of that will be finally defeated and I will stand before my God naked, bare, exposed, open, KNOWN and unashamed as Adam and Eve once did in the Garden of Eden.
I went back to Genesis and began to read... I was wanting just to read of the unhindered closeness, the unmolested, unbroken, continuous intimate relationship that Adam and Eve had with God. I wanted just to feel, even for a brief moment, how amazing and comforting it must have felt to walk with God in the cool of the day; To be in His presence and actually hear, feel, and see His love, His touch, the intimacy of the relationship with Him.
This is something that pains my heart daily. Something that I long for, and have longed for all of my life. I have spent the better part of my life seeking this intimacy that Adam and Eve had with God from places that could never offer such depth of love. As I read of how they shared unbroken communion and fellowship with God, my heart ached: I want that! I so want that intimacy with the Lord, that fulfills every desire, every need, every longing, every burden, every care, every pleasure, every-everything. I know that in Christ I can have that, it is mine this side of heaven because of the life and death that Jesus gave for me. Yet it still leaves me longing, not that He is not enough, but because it is only a shadow of what is to come. This side of heaven my sin will continue to hinder that intimacy with God, because I will continue, as my 1st parents did, to hide and to blame my sin, to run from God because I know my evil, to rebel against the God I love because of my flesh and my insatiable desire (curse) to be separate, to be my own lil deity. In the light of the present it can be kind of hopelessly crushing at times!
My heart ached as I read, jealous, envious, sad, and heart broken that I can't share in that same pure intimacy that they once had. I read of the Fall and was reminded again of the reason I struggle with this so much. And then the Lord brought me to His unforseen grace... at the end of Genesis 3. I have read it before, but each time we read God's Word, His Spirit speaks and enlightens in different ways... as I read toward the end of Chapter 3, my heart was amazed, comforted, and given hope once again in the unforseen grace of God.
"The the LORD God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever-" therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."
What amazing grace! I'm sure back then, Adam and Eve could not imagine what brought about such drastic and severe "punishment" for the 1st sin that had been committed. I'm sure back then they couldn't see God's goodness, His mercy, kindness, love, grace, and faithfulness in His actions, in their being banished from the Garden.
Oh but how amazing His grace is!... He kept Adam and Eve from reaching out their hand, eating, and living forever in the sinful state that they were now in. WHAT AMAZING GRACE! God saw the awful sin that had now entered His world, and He did everything necessary to guard against His children living this way for eternity. He made it impossible for them to live forever, thus allowing death; which at the moment, in the present seems horrible, how could He? Imagine Adam and Eve's anguish... oh, but God has given me the amazing blessing of being able to read His Word, His-story in context, to see that it was grace that He was showing, because after death I will once again be united to Him in pure unbroken, unmolested intimacy! If He had not acted in His severe mercy I could forever be stuck in this state! Ugh! That would be terrible! But now, because of His abounding love and severe grace, I will die! Praise God I will die one day, and then I will stand before my God, naked, bare, exposed, new, clean, KNOWN, His, completely dead to sin, and forever alive in Christ! Hallelujah what a Savior, Hallelujah what a sovereign redeeming God!
Praise God that He has made a way, through death, through His Son, through Him conquering death on the cross, taking my penalty, so that when I die, I will immediately meet my Savior in paradise!
My heart can only sing songs of praise and adoration, because He will not leave me in this sinful state, He will not leave my heart longing; He has made a way and will carry me to completion, until the Day of the LORD, where I will once again share in unbroken intimacy with my Creator, Savior, Redeemer, my God!
Hallelujah, what an amazing God!
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