Extended Escape Vacation

Yes, it's been way way too long since I've sat down to write, process, or much less think. Sometimes in life, because of various circumstances, extended escape vacations are necessary. My escape vaca usually consist of exercising, movies, going non-stop with friends, work, photography, and church, etc., etc., etc. These lil escape vacas sometimes are simply survival mode in life for me, yet at other times they are pure defiance.
As I 'settle back in reality' from my vaca, I am beginning to truly appreciate the Hound of Heaven. See, even though I take vacations in my head, heart and life; my God, my Savior, my ever faithful Redeemer NEVER takes a vaca from me. Not only does He always work 24/7, overtime, all the time, on my behalf; He pursues me, leaves His 99, hunts me down, breaks into my nice lil peaceful, unrealistic escape vaca...takes me by my left hand and brings me back to a loving, but difficult reality with Him. I'll have to tell ya, this isn't an easy task at times (I mean who honestly wants to return from vacation!?!?!)... sometimes my feisty nature kicks and digs my heels in trying to make it as hard as possible for Him to bring me back, and then at other times, like this time, He softens my heart and just has to barely touch my hand and I come.
Either way, no matter what my response; the best part is He never gives up on bringing me home...He's so faithful not to leave me to myself. No matter how long I'm gone, no matter how much fight I give Him, no matter what... He faithfully brings me home. Praise God for that, because left to myself, I am the epitomy of the wandering sheep. Beside that verse in Scripture should be my picture. This one cute lil dumb Linz lamb keeps turning and going to frolic in a neighboring pasture over and over and over and over...well you get the point!
After listening to a sermon (yeh, He's definitely brought me back! ha!) this week from Hosea, my fav book of the Bible, I was convicted again. I think actually I may be related to Gomer! haha The Lord has been steadily showing me how wretched, deceitfully sinful, adulterous, and whoringly wicked my heart is. I'm full of the mess! He can ask me to do a simple thing and I quickly balk, or He can simply withold something precious that my heart wants and I balk. Basically, given any chance, with any circumstance that goes against what I want, I balk. Whew! how does He ever put up with me?!
One thing I was reminded of in the sermon was how patient, loving, kind, faithful, long-suffering, understanding, did I mention how loving He is?! Just as Hosea continually purchased back his unfaithful wife; the Lord has purchased me for Himself through His blood and continually pursues my heart, bringing me back to Himself, holding me by His righteous right hand, loving me over and over again in ways I KNOW I don't deserve.
A lot of times this is a reality that's hard for me to accept because I don't feel worthy; I feel ashamed; I feel like how could I ever come before Him, how could I face Him after leaving Him, rebelling against Him, and running off to frolic in other pastures?
The Answer: The Lord Jesus Christ, my Savior, faithful Redeemer, and true Bridegroom ONLY loves whores! I know, sounds harsh right?, but it's the Truth. We are all a Gomer relative in our hearts, in our blood, in our very being, I know I am. What a deep, refreshing relief to know that I am much worse off than I can ever realize, but His love for me is deeper than I can ever know, and HE DOES REALIZE how whoringly wicked I am, yet loves me still! And He will continue to be my Hound of Heaven that hunts me down and brings me back from a vaca over and over and over and over and over and over... well you get the point!
Thank you God for ALWAYS pursuing my heart, even from before time!