Entitled........?

As I was typing an order this morning for the Honorable Judge he used a word that jumped off the screen, poked me in the eyes and then smacked me in the face! Entitled... He used the word in regard to a prisoner being entitled to pertinent documents from his record in order to appeal his case. But when I heard him say that word, that was not exactly where my brain went. I've heard the word used before, but today it just caught my attention in a different way. As my fingers were moving and concentrating on what he was saying, my mind was off in another world thinking...entitled...entitled!...entitled?...entitled... I'm a multi-tasker for sure! :)
I've been struggling lately through some anger with the Lord. This is progress because for the longest time I masked my anger & never brought it before Him, (as if He couldn't see it seething in my heart) because I was taught that only good behavior, obedience and compliance can be brought to show forth, especially when coming before my Holy Almighty God.
Now I am realizing that He can handle all of my emotions. Also, if I dig deep enough to work through them with Him, I usually find that, as an image bearer of Christ, my emotions 90% of the time reflect the heart of God. So He's been gracious enough to let me throw a few angry punches and STILL not kick me out of His kingdom.
There are a lot of things that I have been angry about, but one stood out in my heart today. And as the Judge dictated his order I was convicted the the other JUDGE... dude, seriously, there is no stopping the Holy Spirit! It convicts even through prison orders! haha!
So as my mind wandered about Entitlement....these are the thoughts that came to mind...
1. What do I feel like I am entitled to?
2. How do I react when an 'entitlement' doesn't come through or isn't provided?
3. What do my ideas of entitlement show me about my stance before God?
4. When I look at my heart honestly and see my sin-fullness, then what am I entitled to?
5. Is what I'm 'entitled to' and idol in my heart and in this life?
6. What has God promised me, or entitled to me, for which I can rightfully (without sin) claim?
7. How does my sinful entitlement reflect all the way back to my first parents in the Garden?
There are so many things in this life that I feel entitled to, and honestly some of them are full of sinful, idolotrous, unrighteous desires, yet some are struggles because of what I created for, but cannot enjoy until heaven. Let me share a few examples of entitlements that I struggle with...
* feeling happy from day to day in this sometimes not so happy broken world
* satisfaction with where the direction of my life is going
* fruition of godly dreams and desires
* no more heart ache and hurts
* no more struggles with sin, ha!
* all my loved ones brought to a saving knowledge of Him
* no more hurt, use and abuse from relationships
Whew, that's enough for now... but as I look over those I just have to really dig deep and ask myself honestly... am I really entitled to those things? What has God promised me, and what must I trust Him for, whether He gives it to me or not? Am I living solely for what I feel entitled to, or am I living for the one purpose of knowing and loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, and loving my neighbor as myself?
I tell ya if I would focus more on what my purpose really is in knowing and loving God and loving others, then I honestly don't think I'll have time to feel entitled to much of anything, because truth is... I can't even carry out that one purpose! That kinda puts thing in perspective there! Whew! And yet again I'm brought to and left with only Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on my soul, a sinner!!!
And forgiveness I know I can bank on, because Jesus secured it and entitled it to me!