Hitting The Wall

I think it's safe to say that I have hit a wall. I realized that a couple weeks ago, but didn't know someone had actually thought this through and written about it. Not only has someone written about it, but it's the very next chapter of the book I am reading, which I picked back up yesterday. WOW! Yeh, uh, He's here! ;o)
So I just wanted to write a few things that impacted me in this chapter called, The Wall, that I started reading again yesterday from the book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.
The Wall: "The dark night of the soul... violent and severe... as we are dragged down and immersed again into a worse degree of affliction more severe and darker and more greivous."
"Receiving the gift of God in the Wall, however, transforms our lives forever." - Now this I am working on, I have not yet been able to see my wall as a gift, although I think I know that it is long term, but now, the now is what I struggle with.
"The disorientation and pain of their present circumstances blinds them." - this I believe is the now that I feel, which hinders me from seeing clearly and believing without a shadow of a doubt, my wall is a gift from God.
"Most importantly, remember it is God who brings us to the Wall."
"I had tried to go around, jump over, and then dig a hole under the Wall. None succeeded. I finally went forward through it because the pain of staying where I was felt unbearable." - been there done that, and now am trying to move through my wall, as I am at the unbearable part. Whew, this chapter just laid it out there for me, plain and simple.
It is amazing really how this chapter is the one I left off with a couple months ago, and now beating my head up against my wall, I pick it back up again... uh, no coincidence there. As we say in my family, that is a God thing.
"God is purging the soul, annihilating it, emptying it or consuming it (even as fire consumes the mouldiness and the rust of metal) all the affections and imperfect habits which it has contracted its whole life...These are deeply rooted in the substance of the soul...At the same time, it is God who is passively working here in the soul." - I would have to strongly disagree with the passively part... because His working in me right now is anything but passive!

"How and when God takes us through is up to him. We make choices to trust God, to wait on God, to obey God, to stick with God, to remain faithful when everything in us wants to quit and run. But it is his slow, deep work of transformation in us, not ours." - Please pray that as I walk through my wall, that God will give me the courage, strength, and determination to make these choices for Him.

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." - Luke 18:9-14