If you haven't read the book: The Five Love Languages, it's a must. Because trust me, there are about a bazillion and one ways to say the three words, I LOVE YOU!
So recently we were grappling with the fact that sometimes I just don't feel loved, I don't hear love from people that I know in my head really love me, and honestly, in regards to the Lord I think I have a mental block sometimes that keeps me from feeling His love. I am wading through that blockage/wall and sifting through everything that composes that wall, and it's been a tough hard road, but one that I finally am walking down.
So the other day my sweet friend told me a story that I just had to share. It meant so much to me, and is one I will always look back on and remember. It just clarified things for me in my heart, in a way that only she can, or just created more questions. haha! I am a very visual person, and so to be able to see a story and apply the concept to my life is priceless to me.
She told me of a young married couple that was reaching the years of the honey moon phase wearing off. As the husband was on his way out the door to go to the store one day the wife asked him to get her some cream cheese. It's all she needed, because she had forgotten it just the day before. She needed it specifically for a recipe she was making for visitors who were coming the next day. -you women know exactly where this story is headed! ;) She reminded him several times and even asked if she needed to write it down for him, making sure that he knew how important this was to get. He left, of course, without writing it down and reassured his wife that he would get her cream cheese for her, no problem.
When he came home from doing the shopping he was so proud of himself. He waltzed in the door knowing that he had come through for his wife and done exactly what she needed of him. He went through his bags of purchased items, searching for the treasured proof of his love, and he pulled out....Parmesan Cheese and offered it to her beaming with a grin on his face...it was a gift, a token of his care, concern and love as a husband. He had come to her rescue, or so he thought!
The wife, looked at the Parmesan Cheese and had to fight back ugly, criticizing and harsh thoughts. I mean after all she only asked him to pick up one thing for her, just one bloomin thing. She even offered to write it down. How could he have gotten this wrong? One block of cream cheese is requested and he brings back Parmesan!?!?!
As she applied this to my life it made so much sense. I hear love in a certain way and because of that I expect that specific love language to be spoken to me. I expect/demand almost, to be loved the way that I hear love easiest, the way that my heart feels it easiest, the way that I understand it. I expect to be given cream cheese love. And so when I am brought a different kind of love, when someone shows Parmesan love or Mozerella or Pepper Jack, it doesn't register as love to me.
I am now realizing that I need to readjust my taste buds to acquire a taste for Parmesan! :)
This lil picture story made so much sense to me... how many times have I demanded the Lord love me a certain way and when He hasn't come through for me I throw my hands in the air and protest that He doesn't really care?! How many times have I only wanted blessings from Him and not wanted anything to do with Him at all?! How many times have I specifically asked for a fleece/sign/ or one certain way for Him to show me love and it seems as if He only shows me the very opposite of what I ask?! How many times have I questioned is it really love that He is showing me at all?!
Cream Cheese or Parmesan?
I honestly feel like this world feeds us, no force feeds us these stories of happily ever after, and glorious comfortable happy fulfilling love. I feel like I've grown up falling for a lie of Cream Cheese love! I have expected God to love me in ways that make me happy, that make me comfortable, that bring a smile to my face now... and although He does that at times, it seems like much more often He offers me Parmesan love, a love that this world does not recognize as love at all. It seems like the exact opposite, it hurts, it's not fun, it's painful, it results in tears, it's grief, it seems like torture, but is it just that I am expecting one kind of love and getting another that is much better for me?
What is God's love?
Is it what He gives me... blessings/curses?
Is it how my life is going... great/sucks?
Am I getting everything that I ask from Him?
Is He alone enough for me?...whether I get cream or parmesan?
What is His Parmesan? suffering, hardships, trials, testings, discipline, distance...I'm not sure. This is something I'm still wading through, but it sure is something worth thinking about. Is God still genuinely loving me when He brings me Parmesan instead of Cream Cheese?
Hummmmmmmmmm...still pondering this one!!!
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