God is so good! These days you won't hear those words come out of my mouth very easily or very often, but at the end of last week, my mouth was praising the Lord. Jesus and Jesus alone knows how to love this heart of mine, with all it's hardness, impenetrable brick walls, hot barbed wire, alarm system, and defenses that are set on high alert 99.9% of the time.
This month my heart hurt in a way that was the tiny minuscule straw that broke the ginormous camels back. I broke because it was exact same hurt that I have walked through for many years now, if not once, then a bazillion times. Therefore, my heart went into lock down like the iron gates of Alcatraz. The doors of my heart slammed closed, the Lord was shoved out, alarm was set, barbed wire made hot, and lock down was tight, impenetrable in fact. Anger, and many other emotions coursed through my veins, and nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing was getting in.
I was asked shortly after "what gets through in times of lock down?" And it took me a few days to figure out, but honestly the only thing that seeps in, under, around, in between, and through in lock down is my mom's love and music. Well, God in His goodness, is the only single person/spirit/thing (whatever you wanna categorize Him as) that knows how to break through the lock down.
On Friday, July 25th, my momma and I travelled to Monroe, Louisiana to hear Travis Cottrell & his worship team. It was their very first opening night of their new tour, Jesus Saves Live. I took off work and we got there a bout six hours early, we were soooo excited! :) We didn't think we could get in early, but we were able to sneak in with one of the choir members. It was such a gift to my heart. We stealthily sat in the balcony motionless, so as not to be found out, as we were the only ones in the warm up (that weren't supposed to be there). We listened as Travis and his worship team warmed up for that evenings worship service. We felt like VIPs being able to listen to two hours of Travis Cottrell warm up! I mean seriously, who gets that kind of blessing?!
After the warm up, and right before the doors opened we went downstairs, bought his new CD and a couple of t-shirts, then we snuck down and sat on the second row. We were so close I could spit on him, I never would, but still! I was utterly amazed! Not only did I get to hear one of my very favorite worship leaders sing in person, but he sang almost all of my exact favorites of his. The line up was set just for me. I'm telling you, only the Lord knows how to break through.
As I sat, well actually stood most of the time, I was completely in awe of God. The things that Travis Cottrell said, the scripture that he read, the words of encouragement that he brought, the truths he spoke, the answers to questions I've asked, the two hour worship service filled with my favorite songs. It was truly and honestly a night fit and divinely directed just for me.
I am still in awe at the extravagant lengths God went to to seep around my lock down in order to show me His merciful love. Standing on the second row with my head thrown back, arms stretched wide, hands up, and heart wide open to God... my heart worshiped God for the 1st time in a very very long time. I can honestly say I have never in my life worshiped the Lord in that manner before. Tears flowed, Travis Cottrell disappeared and he (as he does so well) ushered me right to the Mercy Seat in the presence of my living Savior Jesus Christ. Honestly, there was a part of my heart that worshipped God that night, that has never ever ever worshipped Him before.
After the worship service I was able to talk with Travis and tell him just how much his music and gift meant to me. We got through by the skin of our teeth as everyone after us was turned away. God was working in so many details that night, wooing me, whispering sweet truths of love to my heart, answering deep searching painful questions, and seeping through the hardened walls to make me feel His love. It was unmistakable and inescapable!
That night of worship was a pivotal point in my life that I will always look back on to see how God extravagantly went out of His way to show me how much He really loves me. I am still in awe and amazed, and probably will be ten years down the road.
He is good, and His love endures forever! Praise His Name for knowing me so intimately & knowing how to get through to me. Only Jesus!
No comments:
Post a Comment