Invisible Chameleon

For about seven months now I have succumb to living a very hard journey. It has been a very worthwhile one, a much needed one, a life changing one, a not fun one, but nonetheless one that had to come. You can only out run your past for so long until it catches up with you, and like a rabid dog bites you in the @$$!

As I looked back at me a couple weeks ago, I was amazed how God created each of us, and how He gave me personalized characteristics that are unique, that no one else owns. I am made in a perfectly, once in this life time, unique way, molded in a use-once-only mold, and crafted in a way to where (praise God!) there is only one of me! No one else can replicate me, no one else can be me...try as you may, but God created me and then broke the mold, so I'm unique in the very fabric of my being. He has given unique gifts, talents, passions, loves, desires, qualities, emotions, and characteristics that absolutely no one on this earth shares with me. I am the only one who can do me.

Looking back I realized that God gifted me with amazing qualities that have never been acknowledged. One astounding quality and characteristic being my coping chameleon. This is the name I've given to the awesome side of me that survived as a child. With a lil help I was able to step back and stand in awe and appreciate how God has made me. He gave me my coping chameleon to make it through my childhood and come out on this end of it with only the scars as visible signs to remember, which is enough for me.

I am astounded how at such a young age, I knew exactly what I had to do in order to survive day to day, fly under the radar, steady the boat, don't make waves, don't draw attention & slip through childhood a chameleon, blending into the background of others' lives in order to make it.

I genuinely believe that God gave me that amazing coping chameleon characteristic and it's one of the reasons I am here today.

So even though at times I look back with disappointment and sadness at a mostly blank screen and scars... I am thankful, I am overwhelmed with joy because that blank screen could be full of many other things. And because of the amazing coping chameleon God created in me, I have very minimal scars; they're deep, but there could be many more. And at this time He knows exactly what I can handle as I shed my chameleon skin.

Thank you God for creating me uniquely me, with such amazing qualities... I feel like I'm only scratching the surface! This chameleon is beginning to shine with colors of my very own, ones that only I can do, because I am unique to Him!