Love, Really?

I was talking with a precious friend yesterday and several things clicked into place in my head. Finally some sense coming from somewhere in there!!! haha! It seems like I've had these thoughts run through my mind before, but I am just now slowing down long enough to process them, finally. We were talking about love, not friendly love, but love from a man. We were talking about what it means when someone says they are falling in love with you. How do you know if a man really loves you or not? What's the difference between true love vs. world love? Whew! It got deep! And what's a deep thought without a pic?! :)

Now before I even begin to put my thoughts down, I have to say, I feel like I only know what love is not. In fact sometimes I wonder if I am really the right one to be giving advice on this topic! How can I give wisdom when I only know what not to do?! Well this is where I cling to the promise that God wastes nothing! He is so big into redeeming things that He even uses my screw ups for His glory! Whew! Relief! Wipe my brow...I don't have to be perfect & have all the right answers! :)

As I was sifting through my past experiences and thinking of what I've learned from 'love' in this life, some really profound things fell into place. It had to come from the Lord, because I just don't pop out with stuff like this. What exactly is love, really?! Be patient with me, I may ramble!

As I was processing my what not to do experiences I saw a pattern. In many of my past relationships I was trying to love the person to the Lord. Then it hit me like a 2x4, it NEVER worked! My missionary dating scheme always ended crashing and burning, usually resulting in sin. I had great intentions, really...I wanted the other person to come to a saving knowledge of God. I thought if I could just love them well enough, with a godly love, it would give them a taste of the love that everyone is searching for...the perfect Love of God. Love that accepts me just as I am, but doesn't leave me as I am. Looking back, I'm not so sure I was really loving with godly love, ha, I know I wasn't! On top of that the other person was never seeking the same kind of love I was trying to give. In dating relationships it helps so much if both people know, want, and offer the same love!!!

What is the difference between the world's love and true love? It all begins with what is offered. The person offering imitation love, simply offers himself and nothing more. Anyone can offer this: take interest in someones life, be charming, intriguing, loving, kind, sweet, thoughtful, and even good...for a while. Really anyone can come up with this love for/from themselves, because we were created to love, so we all know how to do it. It makes sense, bottom line, we all want to be loved for who we are, just as we are.

But is that love, really? Just another person? Can another person love enough just in themselves to satisfy? Obviously not, or I would've been satisfied with the 1st relationship I had. But in reality human love, itself alone, never satisfies. So no matter how much I loved, and no matter how much he loved me, it was never enough. It always eventually ended up in sin, seeking a satisfaction that can never be found in someone else alone. The other person & his love alone was never enough!

After seeing this pattern, I can see so clearly that true love can never end with the person offering it. This obviously is where Jesus comes into my little ramble equation. There is more to love than just another person and what they have to offer in themselves. Everyone, including me has a natural tendency for life/love to revolve around me. So when two people with life/love revolving around themselves seek to be completely satisfied in each other, they will go to desperate lengths to quench a thirst that is humanly impossible to satisfy. The woman at the well was in her 5th relationship and still was not satisfied, until Jesus came to her. I can't love that way, I can't accept another human as Christ can, I can't love as He can. I, in and of myself alone can't love that perfectly! I just don't work that way, I'm sinful, I can't do it, no matter how hard I try. So knowing this, I, in love, must push the other person to look beyond me to a more perfect love-Jesus' love, for the relationship to work. It's only God's perfect love that can change my center from me to Him, making me want others to love Him more than I want them to love me. Also, If I am trying to show someone God's love, by pushing them to look past me to God, and yet they think my love alone will satisfy them, it will never work. This is why both people have to speak the same love language. If a person doesn't know God and doesn't know His love, then he will always be seeking God's love from people and things that can't satisfy.

It's only the all satisfying, perfect love of God that will hold anyone in a relationship. If the other person is not pushing me to love God more than himself, it will never work. If he is trying to fulfill me, it will never work. If he is seeking his fulfillment in me, I will never be able to satisfy. It's only God who can offer that perfect, all satisfying, fulfilling, thirst quenching love. No one else can! If the love in my heart for someone does not flow from the fountain of God's love, then my love for that person will run dry, it won't last. The only real love is love that pushes me not to love the person himself, but pushes me to love the God they love. Real love from a person is weak, open and humble, showing faults, sins, shortcomings, therefore not boasting themselves, but boasting/offering beyond themselves to a more perfect love, Jesus. If all I have to boast is myself, then really how far can the relationship go, how long can it really last, with just myself to offer?

Real love... is someone desiring that I fall more in love with Christ, not himself! He will boast Christ's love, not his own, He will offer Christ's love & grace, because he knows he doesn't have that perfect love to offer, he will cling to the ultimate love, the cross and not human love, he will seek to satisfy his heart in God & push me to quench my thirst in God's love, not his.

If I am loving really, then I won't settle for letting someone think I am the end all be all of love, but will know I have nothing to offer, and instead will point them to the God who has everything to offer...perfect, satisfying, thirst quenching love in Jesus.

Whew! I hope all that rambling made some kind of sense! ;)