Satisfied

An amazing friend of mine just told me about this song. The words sink deep and reflect my life a lot of times, and how the Lord has graciously saved me. He is sooo good and truly does satisfy my deepest longings and desires.

1. All my life long I had panted for a drink from some cool spring that I hoped would quench the burning of the thirst I felt within.

Chorus
Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my longings through his blood I now am saved.

2. Feeding on the filth around me 'till my strength was almost gone.
Longed my soul for something better only still to hunger on.

Chorus

3. Poor I was and sought for riches something that would satisfy.
But the dust I gathered 'round me only mocked my soul's sad cry.

Chorus

4. Well of water ever springing Bread of Life so rich and free.
Untold wealth that never faileth, my Redeemer is to me.

Chorus
Hallelujah! He has found me, the One my sould so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies all my longings through his blood I now am saved.

Christmas: The Season of?

After the amazing sermon this Sunday, my heart was challenged to ponder what this season is really all about. I know that most people, even non-Christians, at least have a brief thought that Jesus' birth is some of the reason for the holidays. But how much do I really pay attention to the Savior's birth? As my pastor said this Sunday, "am I just giving lip service, and then getting caught up in the trimmings and the trappings of Christmas"?

There is so much that goes into Christmas. I mean it is one of the biggest and most celebrated holidays around the world. There is the tree, and decorations, Christmas lights, Christmas movies, TV shows, Christmas food, of course I've never forgotten presents, wrapping the presents, unwrapping the presents, snow (this year :), for some Santa clause, the reindeer, asking Santa for what they want, the excitement on Christmas morning for kids when they get presents, the fun of new toys... the list could go on and on and on.

But I was reminded this past Sunday, that the question is not what is the gift that I want... the question is WHO is the gift that was given!

So often I get so distracted with the decorations, the tree (yes, that we put up before Thanksgiving!), buying presents for my niece and nephew. I remembered back to when I was little, thinking about Christmas' past. I knew in my head that Jesus was born, but it was so not important to me! It was the new toys that I was going to get, it was the lights, the tree, the cakes and sweets. My mind wandered to Wyatt and Raney... how can we make it different for them, how can we make their hearts know what Christmas is really about. Then my mind wandered to the kids that God will hopefully bless me with one day. How will I wrap their lil minds around the fact that Christmas is more than just the trimmings and trappings?

It is so easy to get lost, to be lulled to sleep, to be distracted and torn away from the ultimate reality. They start off as beautiful fun Christmas trimmings, and it all really does turn into Christmas trappings. Our hearts are not capable of remaining focused on the true and real reason for Christmas. We are always looking for something more, something dazzling, something that makes us feel good, something better than what we have, something that takes our minds and hearts off of our pain, or off of our sinful state. Trappings, distractions, illusions, and all for what? 

I was thinking about Christmas today, and actually thought about the word. I knew Christ was in the word, but mas... my brilliant spanish teacher, Ms. Joanna Diekman, would tell me that mas means more in Spanish. So if you put those two together, then it rings sooooo true that we need more of Christ in Christmas. 

I know my heart and mind needs to ponder more on Him, and realize what an amazing gift I have been given!  A gift that is not only amazing and awesome, but one that cannot be out done! No matter what gift I ever get here on this earth, Jesus at Christmas, taking on human flesh, coming as a baby, living a human life as a man, going through everything that I go through, yet without sin, living with the purpose of dying on the cross for my sins... Jesus at Christmas is a better gift than ANY gift in this world! He cannot be outdone!

And He is not only better than any gift at Christmas, He is better than anything through out the year. Every good gift that my heart desires is nothing compared to Him! My joy, focus, thankful heart, worshipful posture should not only roll around during the Christmas season... He is better than anything, any day of the year. It doesn't get any better. There is nothing on this earth that God could give me that would be better than the gift that He gave in human flesh that night in Bethlehem! He gave the gift of salvation to me that night. He gave me the gift of redemption. He gave me the gift of reconciliation with Him. He gave me the gift of being adopted by my eldest brother's perfect life and path that He laid out before me. He gave me Himself, His love, and His forgiveness. 

As my pastor concluded on Sunday, we can't have Jesus' birth without considering Jesus' death. I mean after all that is why He came. That is the very reason He was born. That is the very purpose He had when He laid His deity aside and took on flesh to rescue me from the dominion of darkness. Praise God for His birth, life, love, and death, all for me!

What amazing thoughts. Pastor Mike Campbell challenges me, through the words and work of the Holy Spirit, more than anyone. He always, always shows forth the Gospel, because no matter what story you take in the Bible, no matter what time of year, no matter whether Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, no matter what... Jesus and His saving good news is the best gift I could have been given! 

O God, Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on my soul, a sinner, this Christmas season. Forgive me for focusing on all the dazzling trimmings, which lead to trapping my heart in things that are worthless compared to You! O Jesus make your extravagant gift of love in the form of a baby the most awe striking thought and gift to me this Christmas. Focus my heart and attention on You and Your love, and Your salvation, so that everything else pales in comparison and grows dim in the glorious light of Your Face! 

Thank You God for coming to save me! 

Visible Reality vs. True Reality

I have recently been listening to the new Third Day CD: Revelation. The words are deep and I have always loved that group. There are several songs that speak to me right now, but driving home tonight, one phrase really jumped out at me and keeps bouncing around in my head. 

"Make a promise to me now, reassure my heart somehow

that the love that I feel is so much more real than anything.

I've a feeling in my soul, and I pray that I'm not wrong;

That the life I have now, it is only the beginning..."

Isn't it amazing, I know for me it is; It's amazing how quickly I am deceived into thinking that this world is my reality. This day to day, this eh, 80+ years that I might live on this earth is it. Now I know that most people will say, "oh yeh, I believe there is heaven, there is life after death..." but that's about it. The question is which reality do I live for from day to day. 

It is amazing to me how slick and cunning the devil is. He is not going to jump out there with some ludicrous vision or overwhelming untruth to deceive me. He is so sneaky, just like with Eve, he just twists the very tiniest of details to make me question, to get me on the wrong track, to slowly and gently take my focus off the true reality of God. 

The words in that song sunk so deep into my heart because I think my heart asks that question of my LORD daily. Am I weak and of little faith, yeh, I usually am. Do I trust the Lord? On most days, on my good days, which are even still my worst when I look at the whole scheme of things in reality. 

It is so easy for my heart to be dissatisfied, discontent, to feel like I am lacking. When in reality I have been given the greatest love in all of this world, the free, unconditional, faithful redeeming love of my Savior. It's so easy for me to "not feel" His love sometimes, and therefore be swayed, distracted, discontent, and wander off wanting. But as I heard that song, I couldn't help but think about this season, about Him coming here, for me, dying, for me, sacrificing it all, for me! How much more real can love get?!

WOW!!! That is just shameful to be able to see how often I fall for the illusion that this is it, that some love on this earth would mean more to me, would fulfill me more than God's! That is just ludicrous and pure insanity, which is exactly what Satan offers! Oh, but it doesn't come in a ludicrous package. "The road to hell is a gentle slope to nowhere" -C.S. Lewis (I think I got that quote right.) 

There is so much more to life than what is offered daily by this world, by my flesh, and by the great deceiver. I am ashamed at how often my heart settles for here, "how often I am content playing in the mud, making mud pies, when my Savior offers me an eternal vacation at the beach with Him!" -I don't know who that one is from, but it's from somewhere! :) 

What love is greater, what comfort is deeper, what intimacy could possibly be more real, what relationship could mean more, who is more important, which reality do I honestly live for from minute to minute, day to day? I cannot honestly say that each moment of my life is lived in the deep reality of God's love, before God's face... how awful! After all that He has given for me, to rescue me and make me His, I can't even live completely for Him for one day!

O, LORD Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner! O God, give my heart eyes to see the deceptions of this world, the deep ingrained failings and doubts of my flesh, and the tricks of the prince of this world! Oh, that I would truly, genuinely, and honestly live moment to moment as if God's love was more real, and meant more to me than anything! Truthfully what else is there in this life that means so much? Who gives such love? Nothing, No one, Never will there be anything this side of heaven that is worth my life, my all! What a difference that would make if I lived day to day, moment to moment, second by second before the face of my loving God, whose love is more real than anything this world has to offer!

O God give me the grace, strength, will, Your Spirit to live in the reality of You and Your Love!

Moldable Clay, Me?!

As I walk slowly, hesitantly and fearfully through this trying time in my life the LORD continues to walk right there beside me. His steps never falter, He remains faithful, even when I stop, turn, and try to run the other way. Praise the LORD that He upholds me by His righteous right hand and keeps me with Him, even when I want to go my own way.
Yesterday as I drove home , for once, surprisingly, I was able to look at all that is before me objectively. That is unusual for me, because normally I see things through distorted lenses; clouded and distorted with my emotions, my desires, and mostly my will/flesh.
I know it was of the LORD because my foggy, distorted, selfish thoughts don't always clear and I am not always able to see Him, as worth it ALL, a lot of times, which is extremely sad to say. But yesterday He moved in my heart, and He gave me the desire to seek His face, which is what it takes everytime to keep me humble and dependent on Him.
I began to talk things out with Him, share what I was thinking and feeling, what I didn't understand, and what I was fearful of... if you know me then you know that when I hit a hard spot, my first knee-jerk reaction is to give the LORD the cold shoulder. I think this comes from a lot of things in me, but a couple of those being 1. that I am a hard core 5 point Calvinist. I totally, completely, undeniably know and believe that my God is sovereign and reigns over everything on this earth, EVERYTHING! There is nothing out of His control! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! So it's easy for me to blame Him when hard times come, well, I guess because He is the easiest target, being in control and all. :( But then on the other hand, I know it's my sinful flesh that doesn't understand, can't make meaning out of His perfect ways, and doesn't want to submit to His will, but instead wants my own. I know, I know, we are working on this, me and Him, it's not a good thing in me at all, but He's working it out of me slowly, it might take a lifetime (I hope not!), but He won't give up, I am confident of that!
Then last night I walked into my spare room, which I was showing off to a freind. I was showing her my ingenious wire picture hangers stretching across my walls- My dad is the best, and honestly, I think he can do most anything when it comes to fixing things, and creating things! He's amazing, thanks dad! I'll post a pic soon...
As I stood there showing off my hangers I looked at a picture that I recently painted, which is of a lump of clay on the Potter's wheel. I started thinking about that lump of clay... What exactly does that mean Lindsey? What does that look like in my day to day life? How should my life and walk with God resemble a big ol lump of clay?!
The first word that came to my mind to describe what I was picturing was 'surrender', oh how much more peaceful my life would be if only I would surrender quickly! That is a tough one for me! My mind wandered further...
In order to be the Potter's moldable clay I must be...
still (not running off the wheel, trying to get away to my own way :)
lifeless (dead to me and my will, alive only with His touch, His molding)
willing (to take whatever, the washing, the knife, the pounding)
formless (with no pre-made ideals, purposes, or expectations of what I should be made into)
flexible (for the Potter to do whatever to me)
cooperative (not stubborn, but easily moving and quickly forming to His every touch)
trusting (leaving my future, shape, form, being, and existence in His hands and for His purposes)
moldable (not fighting against what the Potter is trying to make me into)
touchable (open for anything, not knowing what the Potter will do; we are not promised ease, health, wealth & prosperity)
patient (being set on the shelf at times, left to dry out at times, put in the fire at times, never being complete until that Day)
pure (He will, sometimes painfully, remove anything that keeps my form from resembling His Son)
attentive (waiting, anticipating, desiring, longing for the touch of the Potter, whether it's pain or pleasure, when the Potter is the one touching it's sheer delight no matter what)
As I remembered back over the mental list that I had made, I was shocked (I don't know why) that yesterday, last night, today and right now in my life, I have been none of those. I might have had some of those qualities at different points in my life, because the LORD is always at work! But it broke my heart to realize that those qualities were lacking in my life.
There is one thing I know.... (I know I have taken this image about as far as it can go), that I have been purchased at an unbelievably costly price. I am comforted to know that though I may possess some of those qualities at times, though I may struggle to find a single one of those qualities at times, no matter how I am doing in comparison to that list, no matter what this lump of clay looks like, I AM HIS!
I belong to Him. That cannot be undone! Praise the LORD, hallelujah, that nothing I do, nothing that my flesh, will, and rebellion can come up with will pluck me out of Jesus' hand! Jesus has come here, lived the perfect life (that I can't), died the perfect death which appeased God's wrath on my behalf (which I couldn't do), conquered death, rising from the grave, and now if that were not enough, He sits at the Father's right hand interceding on my behalf!
HALLELUJAH WHAT A SAVIOUR! HE IS WORTH IT ALL! He is worth every pain, trial, tibulation, persecution, hardship; He is worth all the grief, anguish, trouble, and folly that this life offers. No matter how my life changes, no matter how my will and flesh falters, no matter how I fail from day to day, one things remains! I am His, and He is mine! That can never be undone, come what may!
Oh, to only be a surrendering lump of clay, still, and awaiting His touch!

The Purpose of Life

I don't want to try and pass this off as my own wisdom... :) That would never work! This was sent from a friend whose wife is struggling with cancer. It is portions of an interview with the well known author, Rick Warren, who wrote The Purpose Driven Life. I have added the bold for emphasis on what really jumped out at me...

"People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body... but not the end of me.
I may live 60-100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up-act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.
If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we are called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments - Praise God.
Difficult moments - seek God.
Quiet moments - Worship God.
Painful moments - trust God.
Every moment - Thank God.

I haven't read his book yet, but this interview and the outlook that he has on life sure makes me want to pick it up :)
Praise the LORD that He loves us enough to work in us daily, transforming us into the image of Jesus; through many trials, hardships, and persecutions... which will bring us to completion in Him at that Day and for all eternity. Now that is true love!!!!