When Daddy Calls

For the past 3 weeks we have enjoyed watching baby bluebirds in their home on my back yard fence. Momma and daddy B come swooping in, chattering the whole time, with a bug in beak, and once they perch on the entrance to the house, those babies start squawking and fling their mouths wide open. It's been so much fun to watch em grow and change, not only in appearance, but their lil chirps have changed too. They've gotten louder, noisier, and seemingly more demanding :)
For the past couple days my momma has been intently watching the blue birds, because she had a hunch it was nearing time for the baby B's to take flight. Daddy researched it and discovered that the daddy B teaches the babies how to fly. So we've been watching intently until....
Yesterday as I sat on my back porch reading, watching daddy B swoop back and forth with food in beak. He fed the babies, then lit on the fence beside their home. He called to them in a pretty whistle that I had never heard him use before. This caught my attention, because as he called, the baby B's started practically jumping up and down in their home. He did this two more times and on the third time, daddy B whistled and baby B1 fluttered and plopped right out of the house into the grass. I gasped and ran to call momma, she was just around the corner, so she came flying into the house and we both watched in amazement as daddy B called baby B2 out...Plop, into the grass.
They are the cutest lil birds you've ever seen. One still has lil fuzzy baby bird fir and cute lil brown specks on his chest. They both sat in the grass fluttering their wings, learning to hop around, using muscles they've never used before. Daddy B swooped down above their heads, occasionally bringing them a bug and would take flight to the fence right above them, never too far away. He was teaching them how to use their wing things. They hopped around all afternoon and were still hopping and fluttering this morning, as they couldn't make it back into their home again.
As I think about the baby B's, I can't help but relate the story to us. It's so obvious watching the baby Bs that God's hand is in His creation and then it hit me.... I am His creation too. No, I don't have new wing things to learn how to use, or do I?
It was an amazing sight watching daddy B call his lil babies out of their comfortable 4 walled home. They didn't come out with the 1st call. It took him 3-4 pretty whistles to get them out. I couldn't help but think of how God beckons to me, His child, "follow me, trust me, come after me". I began to think of how they abandoned the comfort and safety of those 4 walls to plop in the grass in my backyard, where they had no clue what was below (rocks, other birds, fire ants, cats, dogs, etc.). They trusted the call of daddy B knowing that he knew best. Do I trust Jesus when He calls to me? Do I wrecklessly abandon my own comfort and plop into His will trusting His timing and plan? They plopped out of that house into a really big new world and trusted that daddy B would be close by as they figured out all this new stuff and got the hang of things. Do I trust that God will go with me when He calls me to hard, new things? Do I rely on His faithfulness that He will never leave me alone? It is taking them a while to learn how to use their wings. They had to endure a whole night out of their home, stuck on the ground, in the dark. I bet anything they wanted back in their comfy 4 walled home, where they could snuggle together and food arrived at their door about every 30 minutes. How often, in the valleys of the dark nights of my life do I long for the comfort of protection and control? Is my desire more for security and comfort or am I willing to give up my comforts, take risks, face danger, and possibly learn how to fly.
Holding to Jesus alone in the darkness of uncertainty, through the troubles and pains of this world is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It takes obedient trust and faith, which I have to admit I don't have most of the time. All I can lean on and say is praise God I heard Daddy call to me. I have heard His voice say, "this one is Mine". He has called me by name before the beginning of time, and so I am comforted to know that my name is inscribed on the palm of His hands, nothing can undo that and He will always be close by walking with me through this brief vapor of life's night. Lord, Jesus Christ, help my unbelief!?!

Happiness

At this point in my life, everything, and I mean EVERYTHING seems to be pointing me past the goods things that God gives, or doesn't give, to simply just God. Sunday school started today on God is the Gospel, not the good things He gives, not the heaven we look forward to, free of sickness, sin and pain. It's Him, He'll be there, that's the hope of Heaven. Books that I've read, The Prodigal God, Shattered Dreams, When People Are Big and God Is Small. Events, situations, stuff that happens, basically life.... I'm telling you, EVERYTHING is directing me down this straight and narrow path lately. It's good, it's really good, but it's a hard path, and it's not one that this rebellious, stiff necked Israelite child walks down willingly or easily. 

Just to share, this is a song that I really like right now that also points past happiness in this life to Something much bigger, Someone much more... is He enough for me, just Him alone, or do I only want to settle for the things/2ndary pleasures/happinesses that He can give me? But what happens when the temporary happiness that I want so much is withheld? Then what? What is it that I really want/need?... to be happy right now, to feel good now, to be able to wear a smile immediately, or to be able to see past this happiness, this life, even these sorrows, and see Him...see that no matter what I am, what I have, what I don't have.... in all these things...He is worth it all?!?! This is a lot harder question than it seems.... or maybe it's just me and my stubborn rebellious self.... Anyways... yeh... the song...haha!

Happiness was just outside my window

I thought it'd crash bowing 80 miles an hour

But happiness is a little more like knocking

On your door, you just let it in. 

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow

Let it be, you can't make it come or go

But you are gone, not for good but for now

And gone for now feels a lot like gone for good. 

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard

Happiness was never meant to hold

Careful child, light the fuse and get away

Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks. 

Happiness damn near destroys you

Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor

So you tell yourself that's enough for now

But Happiness has a violent roar. 

Happiness it's like the old man told me

Look for it and you'll never find it all

But let it go, live your life and leave it

Then one day you'll wake up and 

He'll be home. 

- The Fray

Small Joys in Life

It has been obvious to me lately that God gives me small joys in this hard life that bring a smile to my face. Of course these small gifts are different for everyone, and they also change from one season of life to the next. At this point in my life, I just wanted to share a few of the small good gifts that God gives me, that make my heart smile.  

#1 My sweet babies, with another on the way! Their smiles & laughter light up my days and bring joy in hard times. They are precious adorable blessings to my heart and soul! Thank you God for W & R & Butter Bean... it doesn't get much better than having an absolutely adorable niece and two precious nephews!
#2 hehe, I have a shoe fetish! Therefore, these amazing, cute, comfortable, classy stilettos make me smile. I just have to say they were regular $119 and I so got them for $24. Yeh, I love these shoes! :)
Aren't they just fabulous?!?! I know, I know, I'm such a froo girl now! haha! What happened to me?! Eh, no worries, I still have the camo and guns in the closet! hehe.... My personality is just like a jewel, there are many different facets of me.... just depends on how the light is shining. ;)
#3 My shoe fetish again! :) These cute peep toe pumps have my favorite colors in them! Yes, once again, I love love love shoes, and so these just make a smile come across my face when I slip my foot into em! 
#4 I love my friends. God has truly blessed me in this season of life with a handful of some of the most precious, deep, honest, real friends... ones that I can be myself with and that love me just for who I am... yes, all the glorious mess of me! And I love to get random text & phone calls from them! Precious priceless gifts from the Lord they are!
#5 Coffee... haha, my drug of choice. :) My thoughtful 2nd momma, Mama Bess recently gave me a big coffee maker. I love it! My favorite part about it...the dispenser. There is no pot! You just hold your cup up, press the button & it overfloweth with some yummy caffeine! haha! Thank you Mama Bess!
#6 I love communicating... someone once said that our family 'over-communicates', which I don't see as a bad thing. I mean there has to be communication to have a relationship. And so I love communicating with my friends & family. A surprise email from a friend just lights up my day! And praise God for technology/communication....it's such a blessing when my parents are on the mission field. Thank you God!

#7 Photography & Art! I would have put a picture, but I can't take a picture of my camera, haha, cause it's in my hands! :) I love my camera, my new lens, and just capturing life as it spontaneously happens. I also love to paint in watercolor. God has given me the gift of being Artsy Fartsy and I love to use it to bless others! It's like sweet sugar to my soul! 

Thank you Lord for the small, sweet, overwhelming joys in this phase of my life! You are good! 

Harlotry/Worship

Wow! Below I have posted a link from a devotional post of Mrs. Upsidedown B's. It is absolutely amazing, and yet so sad how we miss the mark in worshipping God! I have seen so many times people trying to create the feeling, set the mood, show the example of what worship is to look like. Is worship only for Sundays; the display of song in the front of the church? What is worship?! Check out this deep view.....thank you so much Mrs. Belinda for sharing.

http://upsidedownbee.blogspot.com/2009/07/worship.html

Worship = Living every second of each day in the presence of, and before the face of the Living God..... Coram Deo. :)

FINALLY Healthy

Ok, I have to share some fun excitement today!!!

For several, eh, really for a long time now, I have enjoyed exercising. Ok, wait... let me start over. My passion for exercising and I have a love/hate relationship! ha! That's more honest. For years I have exercised to stay in shape & enjoyed it, but I have never been able to be consistent with it.

Over the past several years, exercising & eating have been a big battle for me. As I have struggled off and on with an eating disorder, it's been hard to find what works for me, yet is healthy at the same time. Oh, I know what works, giving the quickest results, but it's not good for my body. So usually I go round and round in circles. Mostly I've tried exercising after work which consists of running/walking/P90X. I hate this, because it eats up my 'down' time and my time to be with friends and family. Also the timing after work is just awful, because sometimes I have things to do after work, so exercise is the first thing to go right out the window... which in return does not set well in my mind, so then that screws up my eating for the next day. And when exercise is absent for 3-4 days in a row... well then let's just say that eating disorder is more of a screaming monster instead of a passing distant thought.

So, for about 3 months I've been trying to find my niche doing P90X, which I love, and also walking/running, yes, all after work. Needless to say this routine only works if I don't have plans for the night, so yeh, it hasn't worked out well for me.

So this week I decided to try a new system. And I am so excited because it's working!!!! AH!!! :) I'm on my 5th day & each day I am seeing progress, and seeing that I am getting healthier and healthier. So I wake up and walk/run 3.5 miles before work. Yes I know it sounds like physical torture, but it's actually been energizing, and trust me the torture is a lot worse when it's in my head. Also running in the morning has sooo many + for me! It's cooler, it's quiet, I can see the stars & my fav, I get to watch the sunrise every morning. Love it! It's kinda my me time before the day begins. It also makes me hungrier, which means I eat more. Yay! Also it sets my mind right, wanting to eat healthier the rest of the day, because I've exercised already & don't want to undo what I've done. ha! Also some nights, if I don't have anything going on, I do P90X after work. It's a great release after sitting down for most of the day at work.

I am sooooo excited about FINALLY finding an exercise routine that works for me! I have spent years trying to be consistent & find out what works! Woohoo! And 28 years later, I've got it! ha! Consistent healthiness here I come! Anyways, before I start rambling, I just wanted to share my joy in becoming a more consistent, healthy woman, the right way!

And of course what's a post without a picture! These are my amazing shoes that carry me from my soft comfortable bed to running on clouds! haha! Aren't they pretty!?! :)